Life Support

For 7 days and nights, my life has been on pause, listening to the swoosh and swish of life support machines along with bells and whistles of intensive care alarm monitors alerting the nurse and doctors that the heart, the lungs, the something is sounding for help . These sounds are all too familiar, as this is exactly how our Blaine and our Suzanna began life, on monitors, in ICU and living hour by hour. We now are living the same way , but with my father.

Dad crashed this past Friday. He was headed for death, in fact it was knocking on his door. Through a heart pump and vent , he was kept alive. Life had to hit pause for me. If only we really had a pause. How could I be at my father's bedside while also filling the roles of mother, wife, teacher and any other role that goes along with Sara Borchgardt. By the grace of God the kids were off to camp for a week, I cancelled my week long training in Bastrop and have been here serving only as daughter.

I am grateful for this week. I have had the time to pray at my Father's bedside which if he was awake and alert would be an IMPOSSIBILITY as Dad is too proud, too much of a conqueror to need my humble prayers. I have held my Father's hand more this week than ever in my whole life time. I have wiped tears from his eyes and held my hand over his heart when it was beating too fast. All of these things would not be possible for me to do if he were not sedated on life support. He thinks he is to be courageous, independent and Super Man if you will which are all character traits that do not allow one to be in prayer constantly by your bedside.

I have no idea where this story will end and when. I have had to learn to surrender as I want it neatly closed, so I can move to the next task on the assembly line for Sara. Life goes on quickly. It is hard to slam back into my life, my roles when one life, my father's is hanging by a thread.

This week over and over and over again God has brought to my heart The Spirit Song. I have sung the words to Dad as well as prayed them for him.

O let the Son of God enfold you
with His spirit and His love
Let him fill your heart
and satisfy your soul
O let him have the things that hold you,
and His spirit like a dove
Will descend up-on your life and make you whole
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill your lambs
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill your lambs

O Come and Sing this song of gladness
as your hearts all filled with joy
Lift your hands in sweet surrender to His name
O give Him all your tears and sadness:
give Him all your years of pain,
And you'll enter into life in Jesus name.

This has been my prayer this week for my Father. I have prayed God's speed. God's speed.

Vidella and Dad

A dear friend of mine Maggie and I have always discussed for three years the possibility of me getting a "wash out" field and trial lab. What is a wash out lab? I had no idea either until Maggie explained it to me. A wash out lab is a high breed beautiful lab that washed out of Field and Trial competition . Wash outs can become superior hunting dogs or a highly trained pet in my case. Maggie's husband Ryan is a handler who trains labs for Field and Trial competitions. He and Maggie had a breeder give them a lab puppy early September 2007 to train to be the champion Field and Trial lab. Unfortunately, by this July, Ryan had to wash her out of the competition part as he described her as soft and not responding to correction. Knowing my plight with Mr. Scootch, Maggie knew we needed this lab. Her name is Vidella named after the yellow onion. We have had her since July 14th.



My father when he was healthy was an avid hunter. He and my mother would take trips into Mexico to go white wing hunting every year. Traveling to hunting leases was a regular for us many years or staying back behind while they went out on the hunting adventures is a childhood memory. Dad always talked about having a hunting lab. He owns a cabin in Arkansas on a hunting and fishing lodge which he recently shared with Blaine and Doyle. When I have visited Dad in the hospital , Vidella has given us something to discuss. I told him I wish we could take him back to the ranch now that we have Vidella and he can watch from the back porch her retrieve into his pond. He said, " Sara, I used to be able to do a lot." He never got the hunting dog as at age 40 he had his first heart attack and quadruple by pass surgery. I am 2.2 years away from 40. God;s timing of Vidella could not be more perfect. Somehow the discussion of Vidella has brought a connection to my father and I. The last long visit I had with him he told stories of bird hunts with the guides dogs. I hope we don't ruin Vidella too too much to where she won't bird hunt. It's amazing what two 8 year olds and of course me can do to a perfectly trained dog in a matter of a week and a half!



Here is an example! Yesterday the duo was outside playing. I would hear the alarm signal that a door had been opened and then Vidella would be inside back with me. I would go back and put her outside only to find the back door WIDE OPEN. I quickly corrected Blaine and Suzanna telling them to close the door and to keep Vidella outside with them while they played. Not a minute later, same story. Back door wide open, Vidella inside and the kids were back playing as if they never came inside. When I went to really give them a lecture, they were clueless. I closed the door behind me frustrated, in Vidella came. It was then that I realized Vidella had learned how to let herself back inside. I captured it on video for you to watch yourself. Cowboy was drawn to all the commotion and watched Vidella taking notes I am sure. The great news is Cowboy could NEVER jump up onto a door and use one paw to unlatch the door.

Blaine and Suzanna adore her and wanted to tell you while showing her off to you! Suzanna crawls into Vidella's kennel with her while Blaine throws the ball without ceasing. Vidella is an incredible sport about it all. What will she do when we are all back at school? I am sad to see summer fading. I cherish this time with Blaine and Suzanna. As they get older, I want to just hit pause and savor every moment. Even on days when I am ready to scream from exhaustion in channeling two 8 year olds energy, they make me smile. They are truly God's greatest gift to me. What a privilege it is to be Blaine and Suzanna's mother.

Oops off topic, here they are showing off Vidella! THANK YOU, MAGGIE AND RYAN!!!!

Heart Failure Unit

8 days ago Mother called 9-1-1 out of exhaustion, desperation and fear that once again my Father was going to take his last breathe. Dealing with chronic illness much of our lives with my Father brings many panic moments. In fact, I doubt the neighbors question when the ambulance pulls into my parents driveway much anymore. It becomes a way a life where dealing with illness, pain and care taking are a way of life. The morning Mom called 9-1-1, Dad could not breathe even with the oxygen mask on full throttle. He was once again hurting more than Mother was comfortable. He was rushed to the ER and placed in ICU. Once stable 5 days later , if you can be stable in ICU, I was visiting him when the nurse came in to tell Dad they would be transferring him

"Where," we asked?
" The Heart Failure Unit!", she replied matter of fact.

He looked at her in despair and then said, " Could you say, we are moving you to The Heart Survivor Unit instead of Failure?"

I thought he had a great thought. If we enter a situation thinking failure then what positive outlook and hope do we have? Dad knew that we were in a serious situation with his heart and he wanted reassurance not failure. Sure enough on the way to visit him you pass large letters on the wall which read boldly Heart Failure Unit. All the families that watch their loved ones pass through the double doors to the failure unit, must think and harp on failure instead of success. I know realism is important, but what a message to the patients and families to see their families head to a unit with the word failure in it?

Today we took Blaine and Suzanna to see him in "the failure unit". They are the apple of his eye. Of course, Blaine was Blaine and visiting with all the nurses at their station. He came in with EKG print outs, crushed ice all from his new friends Poppy's nurses. After a long stay with the nurses, Blaine comes running up to his Poppy's bedside and smiles larger than life. Just then a flash went off and Blaine ran out laughing. Not second later he had Suzanna do the same thing, run in fast up to her Poppy's bedside and smile larger than life. The flash went off again. I asked them what they were doing to learn that they saw the camera on their Poppy that let the nurses watch him. The duo then discovered the nurses could take a still photo while the camera was on Dad. So, what do you know? Blaine had the nurses take their photo. Somewhere on the hospital surveillance of patients they will find Suzanna and Blaine smiling larger than life with their Poppy in the Hearst Failure Unit! How ironic that in a place where hope is gone, the children can restore life with their smiles, conversation and playfulness. We all were rolling!

This is Dad and Blaine July 4th weekend at my parents ranch in Brenham. They are eating homemade ice cream together on the back patio.

Scootch , the rescued dog update

I called Woodstock , the rescue organization ,that took Scootch in for us to train him since he was way too much dog for us here at The Borchgardt House. After speaking with them at length I can compare Scootch's training to that of a Behavior Adjustment Class. Scootch would certainly qualify as a free spirited , adventurous , high energy, never stop dog having some pretty complicated issues with classic dominant alpha personality type . It made since as when Scootch was sick and still healing , he was calmer and easier to manage, but as he healed he became more dog becoming extremely protective of all of us as if we were "his pack" instead of him being in ours. He would jump on the trampoline and attempt to jump our privacy fence. He wanted to be in everything we did and to chase a scent was heavenly. He even drug Doyle off the bike if you recall.

Woodstock is sill working with Scootch after almost 3 months and still see him needing more training. He needs structure and he needs an Alpha. I would myself would have to get some training to be the Pack Leader. Throw in 3 cats, Cowboy and two kids and you know I am not sure how much energy and time I have "Pack Leading!" Many days I am doing good just to chase after the pack, much less LEAD the pack!

When Blaine asked when Scootch was returning after listening in on my telephone conversation, I told him I was unsure if Scootch would be able to return to us. We just may not be the right home for him. With that Blaine got tears in his eyes which quietly silently streaked down his cheeks as he looked up at me with the saddest eyes and said, "Mom, I love Scootch and he is my dog that I found!" I had to explain to Blaine that sometimes loving did not mean keeping for yourself if that would not be the best thing. I explained that loving Scootch meant finding him the home he needed to be happy, healthy and behaved . Loving Scootch might mean letting him go, so he could be in the best place even though it would hurt us for a little while to see him go. Blaine still with brave tears falling down his face said, " I think we are the best place, but if we are not then I want to go tell him goodbye."

Blaine bonded with Scootch immediately when he found him injured and he in part is the reason Doyle of all people, rescued Scootch. In some ways I can see how Scootch and Blaine would be kindred spirits if a dog and a child could even be =) as they both are free spirited, high energy and do not want to be "tamed" as their charismatic spirits are something that can not be broken out of them no matter how much specialized training you give. So, I sit pondering what to do?? What to do? Although I think loving Scootch might mean letting him go for us since the reality is we are all chasing our tails on many wild and woolly days, but Blaine's love and bond is real . We will see where this takes us. I told Doyle we needed to move to several acres now to operate the new found rescue organization. He just looked at me like " Oh Sara, please no!" I don"t think rescue work is something Doyle wants to entertain knowing the bills that go with them after Cowboy, Angel, Destiny and Scootch .

P.S. Woodstock is a great a great rescue organization!!! If you see them at PetCo on Saturdays in College Station or out at adoptions, tell them Thanks for Scootch!

Confirmation and Affirmation

Change is hard for me. It requires me to be a risk taker, as well as, trust that the change I am making is the right one. When changes involve the whole Borchgardt Bunch, it requires great amounts of faith. No longer does it just involve me as it involves everyone. This Spring I felt change coming as I was unsettled and I felt the kids were unsettled. I truly believe God causes me to become unsettled and uncomfortable in order for for me to see that it is time for a change, a redirection and a shift. God was so gracious to me as He lead me exactly where each of us needed to be. I have returned to my old district and Blaine and Suzanna are headed to Third Grade at a Christian private school. It amazes me that in my unfaithfulness, God remains faithful!

I could write pages and pages sharing the amazing story of how God took his staff and guided me even when I resisted. Here is our brief run down of how at our church lunch after our church moved into our new sanctuary, God made sure we sat with a precious Godly family who has their two boys at the new school Blaine and Suzanna will be attending, then how he provided us to attend a dinner party where the administrator of the new school Blaine and Suzanna will be attending was present and talked to Doyle and I at length. Then I decided to let the kiddos visit for one day, expecting them to return with negativity about changing from what was comfortable at the old school and instead I was meet with smiles and joy of the possibility of attending such a small quaint family oriented place. God moved one of the best Third Grade teachers from FR who has a Masters in Reading to go teach at the private school, so she could have Blaine in her classroom doing the same museums, etc. that they do in Third Grade at FR.

So if I had them all squared away at a new place with a new tuition in the budget, where God would that come from? He provided me to move back to my old district that I have always had in my heart to be a Master Teacher which will provide the new tuition in my new salary!!!! The more I walked in the change the more I felt the old Sara returning. I can not describe it, but as I continued to walk on the path that was easy (such as a job that did not challenge me for my God gifting and a school that was two blocks away,) I continued to feel as if something was rubbing away at my soul and that I was dying on the vine, but when I entertained the changes of Master Teacher and Blaine and Suzanna's new school I felt this was the way. Two of my godly friends gave me these two verses below which I held close to my heart as I struggled through the change process, so much as to begin grinding my teeth at night! I was resisting because what I had was so EASY, but what God had to teach me was EASY is not ALWAYS BEST!

Dear Sara,

Jeremiah 26:13 (The Message)
So do something about it! Change the way you're living, change your behavior. Listen obediently to the Message of your God.

Isaiah 30:21 (New International Version)
21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

From , God

As I walked into my first day of Master Teacher training, I was flooded with welcomes and hugs and smiles. It was if I was putting on an old pair of warm house slippers and was back home. I was energized and jazzed and excited as my passion again begin to be reborn in me for what I know without a shadow of a doubt God called me to do! At the ending of the first day, the Assistant Superintendent stood up and thanked us for sharing and giving ourselves to the toughest schools in this district due to the number of families in poverty whose little ones attend the Master/Mentor/ TAP schools. She said she truly believed that we are called to serve those who have more of a struggle than we do and to take care of our brothers and sisters was following a high calling God has placed in each of us.

"Truly I say to YOU, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me! " Matthew 25:40

That was MUSIC to my ears. It was as if God had directly linked her ending comments to the confirmation and affirmation I needed to know that I was walking in HIS plan for the Borchgardt Bunch! Was it an easy plan, absolutely not, but it was the best plan! His best is always worth it! I know obstacles/conflicts/oppositions are ahead...... as walking in His Will brings challenges, but the great news is, if you are in His will he will provide what you need if I can just remember to rely on Him instead of little old me .

Prayers for God to give us all the peace and the comfort needed to make the changes and for a smooth, easy transition would be appreciated. Especially for Blaine and Suzanna to make friends and feel comfortable and accepted would be greatly appreciated!
So Here's to Changes!!!!!