Life Support

For 7 days and nights, my life has been on pause, listening to the swoosh and swish of life support machines along with bells and whistles of intensive care alarm monitors alerting the nurse and doctors that the heart, the lungs, the something is sounding for help . These sounds are all too familiar, as this is exactly how our Blaine and our Suzanna began life, on monitors, in ICU and living hour by hour. We now are living the same way , but with my father.

Dad crashed this past Friday. He was headed for death, in fact it was knocking on his door. Through a heart pump and vent , he was kept alive. Life had to hit pause for me. If only we really had a pause. How could I be at my father's bedside while also filling the roles of mother, wife, teacher and any other role that goes along with Sara Borchgardt. By the grace of God the kids were off to camp for a week, I cancelled my week long training in Bastrop and have been here serving only as daughter.

I am grateful for this week. I have had the time to pray at my Father's bedside which if he was awake and alert would be an IMPOSSIBILITY as Dad is too proud, too much of a conqueror to need my humble prayers. I have held my Father's hand more this week than ever in my whole life time. I have wiped tears from his eyes and held my hand over his heart when it was beating too fast. All of these things would not be possible for me to do if he were not sedated on life support. He thinks he is to be courageous, independent and Super Man if you will which are all character traits that do not allow one to be in prayer constantly by your bedside.

I have no idea where this story will end and when. I have had to learn to surrender as I want it neatly closed, so I can move to the next task on the assembly line for Sara. Life goes on quickly. It is hard to slam back into my life, my roles when one life, my father's is hanging by a thread.

This week over and over and over again God has brought to my heart The Spirit Song. I have sung the words to Dad as well as prayed them for him.

O let the Son of God enfold you
with His spirit and His love
Let him fill your heart
and satisfy your soul
O let him have the things that hold you,
and His spirit like a dove
Will descend up-on your life and make you whole
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill your lambs
Jesus, O Jesus, come and fill your lambs

O Come and Sing this song of gladness
as your hearts all filled with joy
Lift your hands in sweet surrender to His name
O give Him all your tears and sadness:
give Him all your years of pain,
And you'll enter into life in Jesus name.

This has been my prayer this week for my Father. I have prayed God's speed. God's speed.