God's Purpose

Today on my way to work, I struggled with even going to work. I had a conversation with God which I begged him to call me home. Call me to my home where I could go exercise, cook a healthy meal for my family, play with the dogs and do a Bible Study. Call me to my home which could be my refuge. I wanted desperately just to regroup. I wanted Him to do that for me. All would be perfect and right if I just did not have to go to work. I think often times the grass always looks greener on the other side. Today, I wanted to go to greener pastures.

And So, I enter the building and encounter a student filled with so much rage, so much anger and so much hurt, the pain spilled forth , spilling out down the hallway right smack dab where he raced by me ready to attack like an out of control animal . This student then began kicking a glass door. I think the thrill of knowing glass could shatter at any moment was an adrenaline rush which in this student's mind, shattering glass just might shatter the pain, the hurt and the torture bottled up inside his heart as well. His eyes spoke of the hurt, the pain and the ANGER, red hot explosive anger, he was feeling. So I looked at him and it was then his eyes met my eyes and it was if God spoke right through our eyes. He knew he could trust me. He knew he could calm down with me only because of the God given kid connectivity God gave me at that moment. I took his hand and gently lead him outside where he could began to release his frustration. Tears began streaming down his broken-hearted face. He finally felt safe and began to allow himself to leave the flight or fight part of his brain and began reasoning with me.

And so I prayed, " God what do I give this child of yours? What can I give him in his hurt ?" I leaned in and listened and then I offered him all I could at that moment ...hope! I gave him hope and belief in himself despite the fact that the odds are stacked so high against this kid to dig his way out of generational poverty, violence, and gang neighborhoods. HOPE is exactly what he needed. I told him I believed in him despite it all. Despite the reputation. Despite the grades. Despite the fights. Despite the foul language. I believe in him. Hope! You must have hope.

When you see lives so opposite yours each day you began to question and wonder. Why the extreme injustice? Why the haves and the have nots? Why do some have so much opportunity afforded them and then so many have nothing offered, but despair and oppression. I watch faces of our little ones each day who live in situations many of us could only imagine or have only seen on the television screen. For those little ones though it is their reality. It is their world and to many it is a place of hurting.

And so , the day continues with one crisis to another. It is like being a fire fighter running, rushing in to the flames to put the fires out. Each fire surrounding a hurting child or a hurting teacher. Sprinkled in comes waves of joy as I see student success and celebration happening. Students and teachers rejoicing at accomplishment and growth that is happening. Finding joy with a child or teacher warms you from the inside out. Fires still need tending and so the day marches forward.

As I get into my car, I hear God loudly give me the verse from Ephesians 1:9-12. (I replace the pronouns always for my name or the name of the person I am praying for, to make the Bible come alive to me. )

Ephesians 1:10-12 (The Message)
He thought of everything, provided for everything you, Sara could possibly need, letting you, Sara in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before you, Sara in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.
It's in Christ that you, Sara find out who Sara is and what you, Sara are living for. Long before you, first heard of Christ and got your hopes up, he had his eye on you, had designs on you for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone ( including you, Sara!).

And so God reminded me today. He reminded me that he has this purpose for me. Guess what, he had it before I was even born! I know what my calling is , but yet I fight it. I sometimes want someone elses call. God reminds me today on the way home from work of this verse. He whispers in my ear, "It is in Chirst Sara that you will do this work. This is what you are living for. This is part of my overall purpose I am working out in everything and everyone. And so, you Sara are right where you need to be for my purpose which I had my eye on YOU before you even knew it. "